peasy poo

today's one of those days that feels easy. it feels much easier than usual to know who avery is (and to be her). it's easy to to the right thing, and be on time. i'm on schedule in work--that never happens. it was easy for me to run at practice, light airy on my toes sweating laughing happy. it was easy for me to forget the stuff i do wrong all the time and to forget forgetting the people i forget and who i don't deserve. but no matter. it was easy to believe that i know what i'm doing at work and here at school and in life, that i shouldn't doubt myself when they leave me with six babies to watch on my own or give me a paper to write or let me solve my own problems.

it was slightly easier to control the inner bitch avery, but not so easy that she didn't peek out, say, every 4 minutes or so. i guess no day is that easy.